your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
