Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
