Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
