oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
