They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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