so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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