Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
