these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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