Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
