I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
