As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
