what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
