white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the day after is always just damage control
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
