I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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