it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
