peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
