Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
