Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I lost the right to judge tonight
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
