I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
