"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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