According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
