Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
