the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
