If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
