garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
