physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
