how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
