We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
