He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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