You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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