I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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