wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
that's an acceptable place to lick
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
