Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
