You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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