i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
