She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
