Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
