it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
