so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
