Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
