Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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