it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
