I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
