Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
