theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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