I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
