Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
