i think i have herpe
just one?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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