I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
