so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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